The next mentality to me is a state of mind that is triggered when things are not going as expected. Instead of staying put to understand and fight through the situation, you mentally zone out and start looking for a way out.

Now, let me paint you a picture…

In primary school (usually between ages 4 and 10), I am pretty sure life seemed so tough when your mom forced you to help in the kitchen or eat and dad made you do chores. As a matter of fact, some kids even question the love their parents have for them at this stage. The next mentality comes in for a lot of people again at this phase, then you convince yourself that life will get better once you are in secondary school.

My secondary/high school experience was something else. I heard boarding schools were fun and you get to have cereals and snacks, and this made me so excited to go (the things we do for cereal). Imagine the shock I felt when the harassment from senior students and dining food did not compensate for those snacks and cereal (this is a story for another time). I missed being home, I missed my bed and the good chores I ran away from. I cried and begged my parents to take me out of there but they refused (looking back, I am grateful they did). I completed my schooling there, but I never really got to experience that season because I was just in a rush to move on to the next season.

Moving on, you must have told yourself that life begins when you get to college/university. Your expectation is when you leave home, you will get to stay out late and party like you see in movies like Van wilder, sing around campus as in pitch perfect or join a crazy fraternity. The gag is, when that first “F” hits your result, you decide to put this party dream on pause and just focus on school and again, you just hang on through this season continuing the pattern of looking forward to the next.

Now, you told yourself it gets better when you “start working,” the money will be flowing, and things will get better—another rude awakening loading. It takes you a few days or even hours to realize that full time jobs are completely different from internships. The goals, targets, early morning meetings and late nights is on a new level, and the bills are endless.

Then you change jobs thinking it gets better, since you feel the people at your old job are just the worst. Let me check on you, is it the new job all that? For someone else, you may expect that everything becomes better when your salary increases but I am sure with the tax increase and deduction, you are now getting the concept of “more money, more problems,” simply because the more money you have, the more problems you see.

It is natural for us to look forward to new adventures, but do not let the search for new adventures prevent you from enjoying your current stage. Life comes at us in stages and what I want you take from this post is: don’t let the search for the next, hinder you from enjoying your current place, and/or prevent you from being grateful for what you have now. Oftentimes, we are in a particular season for a purpose. For this reason, you need to ask yourself “what am I doing here?”

What you are going through is not new to God. 1 Corinthians 10:13 makes us understand that God will not allow to be tempted beyond your capabilities. Hebrews 13: 5 says He won’t leave you nor forsake you. Stop rushing through life and through situations. Stay grounded to understand the season, ask God for guidance, and be sure of His leading before moving on to the next stage of your life.

You may feel the need to change your job because you are not learning something new, or you don’t see yourself getting promoted; the need to get out of the relationship because your partner is abusive or not a right fit; or change your apartment for logical reasons. Happiness might be momentary if it comes with a job, a partner, an apartment etc., it pays to find joy in every circumstance, if your happiness is tied to something, your world is shaken up when there is a shift in that thing.

This is the reason why I think if you run away for invalid reasons, you are most likely going to face the same issues where you are going. Focusing on what is broken will never ever set you free. Regardless of how difficult it looks, you have to clearly examine the situation and understand the season you are in.